Duck Duck Cougar?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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