I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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