Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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