This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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