One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
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im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
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You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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