I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
