I can tuck mytits in my pants
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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