How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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