question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
