He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
tell me about the eggs
Randomize