i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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