You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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