I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You dont lie about slip and slides
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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