I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I supernannyed him into submission
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
