I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
well you can't waste a boner
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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