Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
