dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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