I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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