I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
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