The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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