i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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