TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
sarcasm needs its own font
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
