I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
