Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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