I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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