That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
