So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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