Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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