At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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