Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
