Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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