my mouth tastes like poor choices
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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