So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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