Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
