Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
