we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
