yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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