I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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