I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
