Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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