I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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