i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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