come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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