did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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