South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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