I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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