so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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