Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
