I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
