I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
