I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
