Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Randomize
