i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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