we made out on top of his cat.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
