I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm too high and old for this...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
