She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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