Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
