Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
