i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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