living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The best revenge is premature balding
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
