I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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