and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
