She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Couch. On fire.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
